“I believe Colin Farrell did have sex with all

those starlets, and quite possibly some of the

men too.  What can I say? That man is a sex

fiend.” - Hunky Mustachio’d man who gave

me his number 

“Rehab is like church for celebrities. All you gotta

do is like…visit for a bit and you are forgiven

for all your sins and stuff. Or so I’ve heard.” -

bikini-clad chick with a hot mustache

“I heard Diddy is leaving his wifey. Yeah, finally

he can get all over Paris, Lindsey and Britney.

I mean finally some white booty, know what I’m sayin?.

- Funky dancin’ black man with a mustache

New Wife, Eva Longoria attempts to give her hubby,

Tony Parker, a surprise Fingerstache as a sign of

her everlasting love. Tony was overheard saying,

“That’s sweet…and I only gave you an 18 carat

white gold band with 107 diamonds.“ 

“You know, the guy in “Disturbia”. “Constantine”?

“I, Robot”? C’mon…”Charlies Angels: Full Throttle”?

HE WAS THE KID IN THAT MOVIE “HOLES”!  - underage

looking guy with fancy-schmancy mustache 

“I really hope Harry gets a sex scene in one of

these movies. I mean bloody hell, it’s not like

he’s a child any more, plus I hear he’s hung

like Hagrid!” - mysteriously mustachio’d boy

“If I could transform into something? I’d probably

turn into Fergie’s butt floss. Yeah…that would be

good times.”- some guy with a dashing mustache

“Steroids? Aww hell no! That Bonds is 100% clean, man. Did

I mention he’s also the greatest baseball player of all time?”

- jacked up looking man with a silly mustache

“Fingerstaches…you’re on notice.”- well dressed businessman

“Occifer…I swear, that Paula chick is as sober as a

sober pershen or shomethin!”  - clearly inebriated

woman with mustache